


How Could I Ever Refuse

by SiriuslyThatBitch



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Muggle, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Art History, Fluff, M/M, Marauders Fest 2020, Oral Sex, Rough Oral Sex, Smut, University
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-17 11:07:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28848057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SiriuslyThatBitch/pseuds/SiriuslyThatBitch
Summary: Sirius Black was actually looking forward to his second year at Oxford University. He had a flat with his best mates, loved his specialization, and wasn't completely upset about his Little Brother starting his first year. It was all going so well, until he met one, Remus Lupin
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 26
Kudos: 67
Collections: Marauders Fest 2020, Modern Marauders





	1. A Lot to Learn About Me

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my extraordinary Beta, MoonlitMarauder. You are simply the best and I would be lost without you.
> 
> \- <3 Padfoot

“Next year, I’m hiring bloody movers.” Peter huffed, setting down the overstuffed box with an ominous thud. 

“Perhaps, you should have packed lighter boxes, mate. It’s not like we didn’t know we’d be on the third floor more than a month ago.” James said, gently placing the sensibly packed box of his own on the counter. Across the room his friend stuck two fingers up in the air and collapsed on the couch. 

“You two already squabbling then? Good, I was worried we’d have to wait for a dramatic blow up a few days from now.” The third roommate entered the room with a smirk on his face. His shoulder length hair was pulled up into a bun on his head, a duffle bag slung over his shoulder.  
  
“Please, Pads. We leave the dramatics to the professional.” The messy haired man replied, leaning against the counter. The duffle fell to the floor with a thud as Sirius rushed toward him. 

“Oh Prongsy, you really do care. Here I thought you hadn’t noticed my talents.” Sirius laughed, wrapping one arm around the tanner boy’s shoulder, and planting an obnoxiously loud kiss on his friend’s cheek. James pushed his friend lightly off him, rolling his eyes. 

“Talents, extremely annoying and inconvenient habits, close enough.” From the couch, Peter gave a grunt of agreement. 

“Unappreciative prats, the both of you.” Sirius huffed pushing off the counter and heading into his bedroom, scooping up the duffle on the way. 

Setting the bag on the dark oak desk near the door, he flopped inelegantly onto his bare mattress. Although both he and James were slightly more physically fit than Peter from years of playing Rugby, even he was feeling a bit drained. His eyelids felt like they were made of lead and despite his better judgement, he found himself beginning to drift off. 

The near deafening ringing of his mobile had him jolting awake. Scrambling, he flipped over and stuffed his hand into his pocket. “Bloody hell.” he grunted as he struggled to pull the device from the skin tight denims he had on. Finally, he managed to free his mobile from its fabric prison. The name flashing on the screen had him groaning both internally and audibly. 

“Mummy Dearest” stood out in bold letters with a rather unattractive picture of his mother in the background. For half a second he debated letting the call ring out, but knew it was better to humor the woman now than incur her wrath. Tapping accept, he pressed the mobile to his ear. Before he could get a word out, the ear bleeding screech of a voice he’d grown up with began speaking. 

“Sirius Orion Black, where are you! You were meant to be here ten minutes ago. You assured me that you’d be outside to help unload and instead we are all standing outside of your brother’s dorm with a car load of boxes.” He barely held in sigh of exasperation as she continued to rant at him. “Just once couldn’t you think about someone other than yourself? I swear, Regulus has never been this selfish.” 

His right hand dragged down his face as he listened. While this was his second year at Oxford, Regulus was just starting. Despite the fact that he’d had to ride with the Potters to the dorms _his_ first year, with no representation from his family at all, everyone was expected to help Regulus move in. Being the favourite child had its advantages he supposed. Although he’d given up any pretense of pleasing his parents years ago. Why should he change everything about himself to please them anyway? He was happy with who he was, and the people he chose to surround himself with. He had two best friends that he trusted with his life, and that was more than Reg could ever claim. 

“ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME!” Walburga screamed into the mobile. Pulling his ear away from the receiver he felt his ear ringing. Swapping hands he kept the device a few inches away from his undamaged ear and managed a response. 

“Of course, Mother. I’m so sorry for my tardiness. I only just finished moving my own things in.” He replied honestly. It wasn’t as if he’d had help with that either, aside from Peter and James who had had to move their own things in as well. At least this year it was just the three of them not, his best mates, their parents, and Sirius feeling like a right tit on his own. 

“There you go again. Everything is about you, and what you want. Honestly, I don’t know how we managed to raise such a self-centered young man. Your father and I have meetings with clients scheduled, you know.” 

Sirius physically bit into his cheek to keep from responding. If anyone was selfish, it was the woman who dared called herself his mother, but had never shown up during the course of his life beyond telling him what a massive disappointment for an heir he was. It was just like her to have a client scheduled so neither parent had to spend more than ten seconds with their children. Even his precious baby brother wasn’t worth more than a few minutes of their time. Perhaps Regulus thought doing everything they’d asked of him would get him the attention he so badly craved. After eighteen years, things weren’t looking particularly promising for him. 

“I’ll head that way right now.” he said instead. No point in starting an argument he couldn’t win when he’d have to deal with them in person. 

“Bring James with you!” He heard the slightly distant voice of his younger brother call. 

“Splendid idea, Regulus. Yes, bring both of those friends of yours. Many hands make light work and all that.” 

“Actually, I don’t…” Sirius started to reply, but was swiftly cut off by Walburga.

“I don’t want to hear it, Sirius. We’ll see you in fifteen minutes.” The line went dead, and Sirius growled in frustration. 

“FUCK!” His hand fell back onto the bed, as he resisted the urge to lob his mobile at the wall in frustration. 

“Shite, Padfoot what’s..?” James came rushing around the corner, his hazel eyes frantic. “Bloody hell, mate. I thought you’d chopped off a finger or something.” 

“Worse I’m afraid.” He grumbled, refusing to sit up just yet. 

“Your knob?” The messy haired man joked, leaning against the door jamb. 

“I just got a call from, Mummy Dearest.” The other man hissed in reply. He didn’t need to know the specifics to know that any conversation with Walburga Black often warranted the use of screamed profanity. “I forgot that I have to go help them move Reg into the building. They couldn’t possibly start without me, so I got a lecture about how horridly selfish I am.”  
  
“No offense mate, but your mum’s a right bitch.” Sirius laughed at his friend and nodded. 

“I’m afraid that Reggie decided you should be invited along for the adventure, and Wormtail got roped in by the woman herself.” He growled in frustration before sitting up. “You don’t have to come of course…” He started

“No, no. If Baby Black thinks we should join in, I suppose we should. Your mother is a bloody beast when she wants to be.” A lazy smile spread across the tan man’s face, his hazel eyes shining.

“So always then?” He grumbled sitting up, and swinging his legs over the end of the bed. Glancing down at his mobile he spoke again.“We’ve got ten minutes to get down there.” 

“Tails! Put down the shortbread! We’ve got to go help Baby Black.” James called over his shoulder. 

From down the hall a shout that sounded suspiciously like “I’ll give him some help alright.” reached the boys. 

“Seems like he’s on board.” James laughed turning around and making his way toward the front door. 

The longer haired man made to follow him before frantically looking around the room. His grey eyes finally landed on the well worn black leather of his jacket. Sliding the cool fabric over his arms, and grabbing the mobile off his bed, he hurried into the living room. 

“I don’t see why we have to go.” Peter was still grumbling, a shortbread Scottie dog was wedged halfway into his mouth. 

“Because we’re good mates, and this way Pads has to buy us all a round at the pub tonight.” James said, winking at Sirius as they left the apartment. Before the blond boy could say another word, his other friend interrupted. 

“And I’ll buy you your own plate of chips as well.” Seeming pacified, for now, the pudgier boy followed his friends out, locking the door behind him.


	2. Like the Sky Fell on Me

“Took you long enough.” Regulus called with a smirk as the trio came into view, panting slightly after the jog it had taken to get to the dorms in the nine minutes they’d had left. 

“Great to see you too, Baby Black.” James replied with a wide smile. 

“Enough small talk, I’d rather not get a ticket because you three were half an hour late.” The Black patriarch grumbled from the driver’s seat. 

The man looked almost identical to his older son, which was precisely where the commonality between the two stopped. Although he wasn’t as vocal as his wife about his displeasure with his oldest son, he more than made up for it with disapproving looks. More so in the way he often pretended Sirius didn’t exist, even when standing right next to him. Especially when standing right next to him.

All four young men moved to the boot of the car and began unloading bags and boxes from it. Unlike his older brother, Regulus seemed to have carefully organized every piece of his bedroom into the various containers. They were labeled, and unfortunately, exceedingly heavy. 

“Fuck, Reg, what’s in these things, rocks?” Sirius huffed as he was weighed down with a duffle and two boxes. 

“Watch your mouth, young man. Only commoners go about swearing in the street.” His mother huffed, carrying precisely nothing herself. “Perhaps if you had gone for a degree in something more serious, you would understand the need for things such as books and models.” 

“Yes, mother, but you see, I’m as Sirius as it gets.” He replied, swiftly dodging the smack the older woman had no doubt planned for him. 

“It’s room B15.” Reg called as his brother rushed into the building. 

Reaching the top of the stairs, Sirius shouldered the door that led into the hallway open and without looking turned the handle of the second door on the left. He’d barely taken four steps into the room before he walked into something, or rather, someone. 

“Shite.” The exclamation left his lips as the boxes in his arms went tumbling to the floor with a rather suspect thud. Without anything to steady him, Sirius soon found himself joining the boxes on the floor. 

“Christ, I’m sorry. Are you okay?” A smooth tenor voice spoke above him. 

Head whipping up, his eyes locked on a man not much younger than himself. His hair was cropped short and a sandy brown colour. The lithe build of him wasn’t what one would call athletic but statuesque. The man was a few inches taller than Sirius by his estimation, not entirely uncommon considering Sirius was just under average height. His skin was pale, slightly pinker than Sirius’, but the thing that caught his attention was the forest green eyes staring worriedly, albeit confusedly, at him. Later on he’d reflect on the fact that he hadn’t even noticed the three jagged scars that ran across his face, which in his mind only served to make him look more distinguished. The only word that crossed his mind was, clichély enough, beautiful. It wasn’t a word he used often. Getting a Fine Arts degree meant that he studied more human forms than most, dissecting every curve, angle, and detail until the mysteries of it were revealed to him. Somehow he felt as if he could stare at him for decades and still never truly see the man. 

“Are you… I mean…” The mystery man began before he was cut off by a voice out in the corridor. 

“Sirius, where did you disappear to, you ponce?” Both men’s heads snapped toward the hallway to see Regulus peeking from the door across the way. 

“Uh, in here Reg.” Sirius seemed to finally find his voice as his friends made their way into the small hallway as well. 

“What are you doing over there then?” His brother asked, a curious expression on his face. James and Peter stopped outside the doorways, looking toward him for a response.

“Well, I thought this was your room, but clearly I was mistaken.” The apples of his pale cheeks flushed pink as his right hand rubbed the back of his neck. 

“So you decided to just splay my belongings in this poor chap’s room instead?” He scoffed.

“Actually that was sort of my fault. I was a bit surprised by someone opening the door and he kind of ran smack into me.” The mystery man joked lightly. 

Regulus moved out of his actual room to allow James and Peter entrance Both of them shoot their friend a bemused glance. 

“Sorry about that.” Sirius finally said, looking into the enthralling green eyes once again. “I’ll just.” He scrambled to sort out the contents slayed across the floor from one of the boxes. 

The brunet man dropped next to him, grabbing the books and trinkets that had gone beyond Sirius’ current reach. 

“It was an honest mistake. Could’ve happened to anyone.” He laughed, their hands brushing lightly as the last book passed between them. 

“Thankfully he lives in a flat a few buildings over, and shouldn’t be bothering you often.” Regulus joked from behind him. “I’m Regulus Black” He held out his hand to the other young man, who’d just managed to rise from the floor. 

“Remus Lupin. It’s a pleasure.” Remus shook the offered hand lightly, before his gaze moved back to the older brother, struggling with how exactly to lift the damaged boxes. “And you?”

“That’s my brother, Sirius. He’s the year above us, and apparently cannot read a room number.” The corner of his mouth cocked up in a teasing smirk as he looked down at his brother. 

“Bugger off, Reg.” Sirius sighed, finally lifting the boxes and making his way out of the room and across the hall. 

The sound of conversation continued behind him as he set the boxes on the desk in the far corner of the room. Peter was sitting in the accompanying chair, looking all the world like he’d sooner die than climb a single stair more. 

“You alright over there, Tails?” Sirius asked, leaning against the edge of the desk. 

“You owe me more than a basket of chips for this shite.” He whined. “What was that out there by the way?” The blond raised one eyebrow at his friend an odd twinkle in his eye. 

“Yes, do tell, Pads. Why exactly did you assault some poor bloke next door?” James said, from his position at the door. He looked comical with bags slung over each shoulder, and what appeared to be the last of the boxes in his arm. 

“I didn’t assault him. I just,” Sirius started.

“Just busted into his room and proceeded to knock into him with heavy objects?” He asked, smirking slightly. 

“Anyone could have gone into the wrong room with that many boxes, okay? Besides he looked fairly fit.” Sirius said not thinking about the words before they left his lips. 

“So the mystery bloke’s fit?” James asked, fighting a smile. 

“Yeah he’s… I meant like physically in shape not, you know, not that way. Not that he isn’t attractive, it’s just.” The longer haired man was cut off by the arrival of his brother and the aforementioned fit bloke. 

“James, why is it that you’re always in my way?” Regulus grumbled as he pushed past the messy haired boy and into his room. 

“Perhaps you just always want to be where I am, Baby” a brief pause “Black.” 

If the older brother had been paying more attention he would have noticed the awkward addition of his surname, or the slight blush and smile his brother shot his best friend. Unfortunately, or fortunately, who was to say, he was distracted by Remus entering the room as well. He still couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was about the man that had him so in awe. 

“Are we going to be introduced or..?” Peter asked, looking between the brothers. 

“This is Remus Lupin, better known as the man my idiot brother attempted to mow over.” Regulus stated, the thin boy gave an awkward wave in response. “You’ve already met said idiot, these are his best mates, James and Peter.” 

“Pleasure to meet you.” The blond boy said from his place in the desk chair. 

“You as well.” Remus replied, with a polite albeit slightly uncomfortable grin. 

“Do you have any plans for tonight?” James asked shooting Sirius a subtle wink, only he and Peter saw. It was just like the man to skip pleasantries to try and make Sirius’ life more difficult. 

“Um, well I was just going to go to the dining hall for dinner I suppose. I don’t really know anyone here yet.” The man blushed and stuffed his hands in his pockets, thumbs still hanging out. His emerald eyes were fixed on an unknown spot on the floor.

“Well you do now. We’re all gonna head down to the pub about seven. Why don’t you come along? More the merrier and all that.” The mischievous hazel eyed man said confidently, smiling wide. 

“Um, well that’d be great. If you all don’t mind I mean.” Remus replied, biting his lip as he shot them all an unsure expression. Sirius couldn’t seem to make himself look away from the sight of his full bottom lip trapped between his teeth. Christ, he was in big trouble.

“Not at all.” Regulus’ voice had him hurriedly looking away from the man’s mouth. “It’ll actually be nice to have someone other than these three to eat dinner with.” The younger Black said. “I don’t know anyone else either, and I’ve spent all summer putting up with them already.” He grumbled, a mock look of exasperation on his face. 

“Well, brilliant. We’ll meet you boys downstairs at ten to. Come on chaps, let’s leave the youngins to settle in.” James said, giving a quick wink before pulling his friends from the room. 


	3. I Got That Feeling

When they made it outside Sirius was not at all surprised to find that his parents had already fled the scene. Although, he was sure Regulus would be a little disappointed when he learned they hadn’t even bothered to see where he’d be living. Afterall, they’d been so adamant he lived in Gloucester House just like their parents had, and Sirius himself in his first year. 

“So, what shall we do with the next few hours then?” James asked, an annoying spring in his step. Sirius wasn’t sure what had the man in such a good mood, but he was fairly certain it could only mean trouble. 

“I’m starving.” Peter whined from Sirius’s left. 

“You’re always starving, Wormtail.” The long haired man said, chuckling softly. “But since you did help me out I guess we could go grab a snack at the dining hall.” 

The blond did a fist pump in response, pulling a chuckle from both his friends. 

“Speaking of snacks, and things you’d like to grab.” James started from his position on Sirius’ right. “What was all that between you and Baby Black’s new suitemate then?”

“I don’t know what you’re on about, Prongs. I busted into his bedroom and accidentally ran into him.” 

“And called him fit.” Peter chimed in. 

“That’s not. Ugh. You’re both right menaces, you know that?” Sirius sighed, rubbing a hand down his face. “What he is or isn’t isn’t any of our concern. Certainly not mine.” He finished, trying to convince himself as much as the other two men. Which would have been much easier to do had his thoughts not been filled with flashes of emerald green and soft pink. 

“Well, I think I might have to disagree with you on that one. At the very least you’ll be seeing him at the pub later.” His best mate replied, smiling slyly. 

“Why exactly did you invite him, anyway? I mean, yes you love anonymous attention, but I can’t remember the last time you actually invited someone you just met along, well anywhere really.” 

While James did a good show of being particularly extraverted when they were on the rugby pitch, or when he played guitar on stage in their band, he much preferred to be surrounded by as few people as possible. He could fake it around others, but made sure to limit his contact with people outside of their group to a minimum. 

Peter was the introvert in the group, only especially outspoken when around those he trusted or was comfortable with, which usually resulted in him laughing awkwardly when strangers approached him on his own. If he had his way, he’d spend all of his time holed up in their flat with a snack and his mobile. 

This left Sirius to be the extravert of the group, and extraverted he certainly was. Though his friends shied away from attention, he constantly craved it. Perhaps it was the fact that he’d gotten absolutely none from his family as a child, or the fact that he’d always had a flair for the dramatic. He had been the one to suggest they start their band, “The Marauder’s Map” with him as the lead singer and bass player, of course. Surprisingly, they had all learned to love the feel of performing on stage together, but even so it was something that was just the three of them. 

“Maybe, I’m growing up, Pads? Expanding my horizons and such.” James said as they walked into the dining hall. 

“Yeah, and Wormtail has grown tired of cheesecake.” The grey eyed man scoffed watching said friend hurry over to the buffet line. “Look, I don’t mind him coming along, just don’t mess with him, yeah? If you ruin Reg’s chance at making a friend I’ll never hear the end of it.” 

“I promise to be on my very best behavior.” The messy haired man replied, crossing over his heart. 

“That’s what I’m afraid of.” He sighed as they waited for their friend to finish grabbing his snack so they could head back to their flat. Peter appeared with a sack full of food, and a wide smile spread across his face. 

The walk back was mostly spent in silence for Sirius. He made sure to chime in here and there to keep his friends from getting too suspicious, but to be perfectly candid, he had no clue what the conversation had even been about. If either of the men noticed, they hadn’t said so.

Once they’d gotten back to the flat Sirius had gone to his room under the excuse of unpacking. In all fairness he did actually do it, but he had a few days before term started to finish the task. Sirius just needed a moment or two alone. Being an extravert didn’t mean he wanted constant company, and luckily his two introverted friends knew when he needed a break of his own. 

The incident in the dorm kept replaying in his mind, like an annoying pop song you couldn’t help but sing along with, even though you firmly claimed to despise it if anyone asked. No one had rendered Sirius speechless before, a fact which had gotten him into trouble on more than one occasion in his short life. A witty retort of some kind was always on the tip of his tongue, but one look at Remus and he hadn’t been able to utter a single syllable. 

He hadn’t had very long to examine the other man, perhaps if he had things would make more sense. He doubted it though. Sketching nude models hadn’t phased him in the slightest. No, it couldn’t be just the look that brought him up short. So what had been so special about what had to have been less than five minutes in this man’s presence?

Burying his head in the pillow beneath his head, he groaned in frustration. Usually when he had something on his mind he would draw. Somehow he always found the answers he was looking for in the lines and shapes of the page. 

Sitting up he rifled through the box that held most of his art supplies and pulled out his sketch pad. The set of far too expensive sketching pencils were beneath it. Grabbing both he moved to his desk and let his hands do the thinking for him. 

Sketching, drawing, and painting was almost an out of body experience for Sirius. He saw his hand moving the pencil, charcoal, or paintbrush, but it was like there was a disconnect. The picture in his head somehow ended up on the paper or canvas, but he couldn’t quite pinpoint just how it’d gotten there. It was a feeling more than an action. As if there really were muses that whispered into his ear. 

Sirius was only mildly surprised when it became clear what he was creating was the distinct outline of a human face. He preferred to draw living creatures, and portraits had always been his favourite . Perhaps if he attempted to put Remus on paper, tangible beneath his hands, he’d understand. 

It had been a great plan in the beginning, just a basic facial structure that could be easily manipulated later on. His frustration began to set in when he couldn’t remember the exact specifics of Remus’ face offhand. He had had slightly softer features than Sirius’ own, but that was next to nothing to go on. 

Trapping the bar of his tongue ring between his teeth, he narrowed his eyes at the flawed image under his hands. Maybe he should consider sneaking a photo of him at dinner. No, that was far too uncomfortable, he’d just have to pay better attention at the pub. The desk was covered in spent pieces of rubber when James knocked on the door. 

“Hey Padfoot, it’s time to go pick up the first years for tea.” The hazel eyed man called through the door. 

“Be right out.” He called in response. “Bollocks.” The sigh of frustration left him as he looked down at the smeared graphite on his hands from sketching. Grabbing a hand towel from a table at the end of the bed he wiped it away as best as he could. 

Despite his better reasoning, he checked his reflection in the mirror on his way past. His grey t-shirt paired perfectly with his signature leather jacket and well fitting black denims. Pulling out the elastic holding his bun he shook his head and let the hair fall in waves where they met his shoulders. It was messy, but managed to look purposefully so, unlike James whose hair never cooperated no matter how much time or product was put into it. Sirius was always one for aesthetic, but this was the first time he was worried about what someone else might think of his appearance. He wasn’t quite sure he liked it either. Deciding it was stupid to get worked up about a man he’d know for less than five hours he walked toward the living room without looking back. 

“You all good, Pads?” James asked when he entered, trying and failing to hide his slightly concerned expression. Despite what others may have thought about the rambunctious young man, he was the most caring person Sirius had ever met, and a better friend than he was sure he deserved most days. 

“Of course. I’ll be a lot better once I get a pint or two in though.” He joked, giving his friend a reassuring smile. 

“Great, shift it then. I’m starving, and am far too sober after the amount of physical activity we’ve done today.” Peter piped in, throwing his arm around the other men’s shoulders as they made their way toward the dorm. 

Regulus and Remus were both standing outside when the men arrived. 

“Christ.” Sirius rolled his eyes at the sight of his brother. His style was what the other men had dubbed Prat Chic. No matter the occasion he was always sporting a pair of slacks of some sort, and a button down oxford. If it was a casual event he’d forgo the tie and sport coat, unfortunately very few things seemed to be casual to the young man. 

“Nice to see you two young men.” His messy haired best friend greeted the two. “What say we go and get pissed on the Black family’s dime?” Regulus opened his mouth to respond but was cut off. “Don’t worry Baby Black, it’s all on Padfoot here. Payment for our manual labor and all.” He took a small step toward Regulus as he continued. “Unless of course you’d like to pay me yourself?” Everyone else shot the two men curious looks except for Sirius as he had decided once again to study the newcomer of the group. Perhaps decided was too strong a word. Compelled seemed more accurate.

If he had to give the man’s outfit a name it’d be somewhere between professor in training, and fashion meets form. The khaki trousers he wore weren’t skin tight, but much more tailored than anything his parents would have found acceptable. Which was laughable considering Sirius only bought much tighter trousers on principle. The maroon shirt was both dressy and casual, accented perfectly by the tan cardigan he had half buttoned over it. He was suddenly overcome with the urge to lean forward and completely unbutton the garment. An urge to feel his chest through the maroon fabric had him biting his lip unconsciously. 

“Alright, enough chit chat, let’s go before all the good booths are taken.” Peter said leading the way to the college’s bar. 

As Peter had predicted the place was beginning to fill up with students of all ages. Luckily, their favourite booth in the back corner was free. The seating arrangement proved to be a bit awkward. The booth was meant to fit six people. Usually James and Peter sat on one side with Sirius spreading out on the other bench. Since Peter was broader than his friends there had never been room for more than two on that particular bench. Both of the other men had taken their place, Regulus sliding into his brother’s side as if he belonged there. Remus realized the dilemma around the moment Sirius did. 

“You should go ahead and sit. I’ll find a chair.” Sirius offered, trying his best not to sound like the idiot he seemed to turn into around the other man. 

“Nonsense. There’s loads of room over there. I bet all three of you could fit.” James said, a broad smile on his face. The fake innocence on his face sent a surge of annoyance through the long haired man. 

“Perhaps he doesn’t want to be crammed between two strangers, Prongsy.” Sirius replied between gritted teeth. All three could more than likely fit on the bench. Regulus had always been more of a lithe build, and neither Remus or Sirius were exceptionally broad. However, Sirius was the first one to appreciate personal space, namely needing others out of yours. 

“I don’t mind. I mean it’s a pretty large booth and all. That is, if you don’t.” Remus offered, looking every bit as uncomfortable as Sirius currently felt. Gods, why the fuck was that tinge of unsurety so alluring on him?

“Brilliant.” James clapped his hands together happily as Remus slid onto the bench. “Before you sit though, Pads, how about you go get us that first round we were promised?” He smirked, prompting an eye roll from his friend.

Turning toward the bar, the other man did as bade and brought back a pint for each of the men, making sure to spill a bit on James as he set them down. 

They were roughly four beers in when the questions started. 

“So what’s with the nicknames?” Remus asked, grabbing one of the chips from the basket in front of him. “I mean, Baby Black I can understand.” His words brought a groan from Regulus. “But Prongs, Padfoot, and Wormtail? That’s just odd.” 

“It’s actually a series of really funny stories.” Peter began. “It all started with Prongsy here.” 

“Christ, Tails, could we not?” The other man groaned covering his face.

“No, Tails, we definitely can.” Regulus said with an amused smile spread across his face. 

“Okay, so Padfoot and Prongsy were going to try out for our school’s rugby club. They were changing into their athletics kit, and Prongsy here turns out to be wearing a bloody g-string.” Everyone at the table chuckled in response prompting the man to defend himself. 

“It’s called a jock strap, and loads of athletes wear them!”

“No, prats wear them, Prongs.” Sirius said, smirking. 

“Oh my god. Did…” The sandy haired man next to Sirius was almost giggling as he spoke. “Is that why you call him Prongs? Prat in a thong?” 

“This man is a bloody genius, I’m so glad you invited him along, Prongsy.” Peter laughed, taking another healthy gulp of his pint. 

“How about we tell your story next then, Wormtail?” He replied, raising one eyebrow in challenge. “In about year nine, our lovely friend here decided to dress up as padawan Anakin for Halloween.” 

“No” Remus replied in a gasp, a wide smile on his face. 

“Yes, braid and all.” Sirius nodded, trying and failing to hide his smile behind his glass. 

“Well, what about you?” The green eyed man asked, raising one eyebrow in his direction. 

“Ah, well it’s stupid honestly.” A warm blush spread down his neck. 

“Ah, ah, ah, Padfoot. We all had to tell our stories, it’s only right you do too.” James said, Peter nodding his head furiously in the background. 

Groaning he took a deep breath before looking over at Remus whose eyes were locked on him in anticipation.

“Okay, well, we went to an all boy’s boarding school. Us and Reg, I mean. Prongs, Tails, and I were in the same dorm since we started together in year seven.” 

“All I’m hearing is a lot of stalling here, Pads.” The pudgier man said.  
  
“I’m getting there, you wankers.” Another blush had started up Sirius’ pale cheeks as he continued. “Our first night in year ten Prongs snuck a bottle of irish whiskey to school from his dad’s liquor cabinet. Wormtail, took a healthy swig, but had neglected to tell Prongs and I he’d never had a drink before. This shite was excellent, it burned like fire rolling down your throat, and Tails, ever the champ, dropped the bottle then and there to grab at his throat.” All the other boys laughed at his words, aside from Peter who looked about seconds away from trying to defend himself. “Naturally, the bottle shatters when it hits the stone floor of the dorm. We knew one of the house prefects had to have heard it, so Prongs and I scrambled to find a solution. I had loads of women’s pads under my bed for a Halloween prank we were going to play on one of the other dorms.” 

“You didn’t.” Remus said, smiling wide, and decidedly closer to him than Sirius had remembered him being.  
  
“Oh, I did.” He nodded, still looking at the sandy haired man next to him. “I stuck two to the bottom of my feet and desperately tried to mop up all the liquor before anyone made it to the room.” All the men were laughing as he finished. “They were so surprised to find me with pads stuck to my feet, that they completely forgot about the whiskey and left us to it.” 

“Well, that was just about as entertaining as I hoped it’d be.” Remus laughed, eating the last few of his chips. 

Sirius couldn’t help but watch his as his tongue flicked out and cleared the salt from his lips. He’d done a pretty good job at keeping his staring to a minimum thus far, but the longer he was around the other man, the more he wanted to study him. All the features he’d noticed before seemed personified in the low light. His green eyes were like that of a predator, glinting in the darkness. The gentle slope of his cupid's bow only defined his plush lips. 

It hadn’t been until he’d come back with their first few drinks that he’d first noticed the three scars that ran across the other man’s face. One sat low on his right cheek, by far the shortest of the three at only an inch long. Another traced the delicate bridge of his nose, tracing diagonally down from right under his left eye to the bottom of his right cheek. The final one was at an identical diagonal but began under his right eye and ended on the same cheek. 

How on earth he’d missed them the first time he wasn’t sure, but it didn’t alter his original thoughts. Remus was beautiful, a work of art in his own right, and like some painting he’d visit in a museum, not his to have. A solemn sort of feeling rested heavy in his chest as they made sure the younger lads made their way safely back to their dorm. 

“Thanks, for inviting me. I had loads of fun.” The brunet slurred slightly as he and Regulus leaned on one another for support. 

“Anytime, Remus.” James replied. “Now you two get to bed, and make sure to drink plenty of water.” Both men nodded in response before stumbling their way into the building.  
  
“Not once in your life have you drunk the appropriate amount of water after drinking, Prongs.” Sirius laughed at him as they walked back toward their flat. None of the men so much as stumbled along the pavement. Granted they were a bit more practiced at making their way across town while pissed. 

“I want the younger generation to be better than we are, Padfoot. They are our future you know.” James tried his best to send a cheeky wink to his friend, but ended up looking more like he had something caught in his eye. 

“I always knew you were a bloody hypocrite.” Sirius replied, nudging his shoulder against his friend. If the idea of a certain man being his future, sent a pang through his chest, well that was really no one’s business but his own. 


	4. What is Written in Your History

Nine a.m. came too bloody early in the morning if you asked Sirius. Why anyone wanted to be awake before noon he hadn’t the slightest, and yet, here he sat in his first  Medieval - Renaissance art history class of the semester at what felt like the arse crack of dawn. The cuppa he’d grabbed before he left his flat didn’t seem to be doing near enough to clear the early morning fog he found himself in. 

Walking into the lecture hall he grabbed a seat toward the back. Typically he sat a bit closer to the professor, but he wanted to get out of the room as quickly as possible. Perhaps he’d even have time for a nap if he hightailed it back. 

He’d just barely had time to pull out his notebook and favourite pen when a pair of brown oxfords came into his line of sight. Following the body up he had to force himself to keep his mouth from gaping. Standing in front of him, shifting between his feet awkwardly was Remus Lupin. 

Dear God, what kind of cosmic joke was this? He’d decided after their night spent in the pub that his best bet was to keep away from the man all together. Admittedly, it would have been much more difficult than he made himself believe, but he had comforted himself in the knowledge that he’d be able to prepare for any future meetings. Today he’d chosen a pair of grey trousers, and a green top the same shade as his eyes. Frankly, he looked bloody delectable. 

“Hey.” The brunet said hesitantly. “Would you mind if I sat next to you?” He nodded to the chair to Sirius’ left and bit his lip in what seemed to be his nervous habit. Not that Sirius had been thinking about his mouth doing that exact thing all weekend. No, he had decidedly not. He most definitely wouldn’t be thinking about it again later in the comfort of his own bed or the shower. 

There was plenty of time to not think about that later. For now he had a bigger problem to deal with. Sirius knew humans were creatures of habit and as such if he allowed him to take the seat next to him there was little chance he wouldn’t sit in that very seat all term. He should have found the nicest way to turn the man down. 

“Yeah. Of course.” Was what he ended up saying instead. As Remus slid into the seat beside him he resisted the urge to bang his head against the desk. Nice going Sirius. 

“I’m so glad I’ll know someone here. I’m a bit nervous to take this class to be honest.” Remus leaned forward to grab his own notebook and a whiff of what could only be his cologne hit the obsidian haired man. It was an enticing spiced orange scent that wasn’t something he’d wear himself, but seemed to fit the other man perfectly. 

“Oh, why’s that? What’s your area of study?” Sirius replied quickly, trying to hide his unease with a friendly chat. Friendly was safe, and as long as they kept it to small talk, he’d be able to dismiss any attraction he might have felt for him. That’s what he told himself at least. 

“History. What about you?” The other man wrote the date and course title at the top of the page in surprisingly neat handwriting. 

“Fine art, much to the disappointment of my parents.” An awkward laugh left him as he tapped his pen quietly against the spiral on his desk. 

Before Remus could ask what was no doubt an uncomfortable question about his parents and what exactly so dismayed them about his degree choice, a lithe man entered from the door in the front of the classroom. 

The man had a kind of presence Sirius could only dream of. His mere arrival hushed the entire class, his all black suit contrasted against his pale skin, dark brown hair swept to the side in a cut that would have looked boyish on most men only highlighted a kind of ethereal charm. Setting a stack of books on the desk, he moved till he was centered in front of the students. 

“Hello, class. My name is, Professor Riddle, and this is Medieval and Renaissance art history.” The low baritone of his voice carried effortlessly through the room. “I know most classes simply go over the syllabi the first day, but as we will be covering nearly twelve-hundred years of history, I don’t think it would be fair to any of us to waste a single day on such trivial things.” 

It was clear the entire class was quashing their urge to groan in response. So much for that nap, Sirius thought as he prepared to listen to what would prove to be a very long lecture. 

“Alright, that’s all I have for you today. Come pick up the syllabus and look over it before next class. You’ll find I have quite the pet peeve for missed deadlines due to carelessness.” Without another word the man picked up his belongings from the desk and left the room. 

“Well, he seems like a barrel of laughs.” Remus said beside him as they packed their things away. 

“I had a few friends who took his classes last year, apparently he’s not so bad as long as you don’t skive off.” The grey eyed man shrugged shouldering his bag and following the rest of the class to grab the syllabus from the front of the room. 

“That’s good news at least.” He replied. Papers in hand they headed toward the doors. Mere steps from freedom, the other man spoke again. “Would you mind exchanging numbers? I can already tell I’ll need some help with the art terms and things and I wouldn’t want to bother you during classes when we could just send a quick text.” Remus bit his lip as he paused. That god forsaken lip. He grounded inwardly when he let it slide from his teeth only to speak again. “It wouldn’t be one way or anything. This is kinda my specialty. The time period I mean, so maybe I could help with that. Not that I’m assuming you wouldn’t know anything about it.” He hurried to correct himself. The light blush of embarrassment that seeped into his cheeks had Sirius fighting a grin. 

It seemed silly to refuse than man. A few texts here and there about their course was something friends did, and he positively did want to be this man’s friend. 

“Sure, of course.” He replied. Luckily he was able to remember his number despite the other man’s presence. When the familiar ding of an incoming text sounded he fished his mobile out of his pocket and unlocked the screen. 

**Unknown Number:** _ Hello, it’s me. _

Sirius chuckled softly at the Adele reference. A man after his own heart, he thought. Glancing up at the other man he typed up a quick response. 

**Sirius:** _ Hello, can you hear me? _

Remus smiled and looked up from his screen. “I’ve got a class soon, but I’ll see you around?” The slight hope in his voice made Sirius nod in response. “Brilliant.” Waving he took off in the other direction seemingly unaware of the conflicting feelings he’d awoken again in the other man. 

Deciding that it was pointless to trek back across campus, Sirius walked to the dining hall, hoping to get a bit more caffeine before heading to his sculpting class. Tea in hand he sat down in the courtyard and pulled out his mobile, putting his headphones in, prepared to let a random playlist take him away for a bit. The first notes of “High Hopes” were cut off by the chime of an incoming message. Tapping on the messaging app he couldn’t help but grin. 

**Remus:** _ Great, now I’ll spend the rest of my class singing Adele in my head.  _

**Sirius:** _ Try “My Shot” instead. At least that’s history related, even if it is American.  _

After five minutes with no response from the other man he tucked the mobile back into his denims and allowed the music to carry him away. 


	5. The Stars Come Out

They were nearly a month into the semester, and he and Remus traded many more texts than Sirius had told himself he’d allow. It had started off as song lyrics and the odd text about class, but soon drifted toward what he could almost delude himself into thinking was flirting. It wasn’t just the texts either. 

Soon he was doing things that Sirius tried his best to classify as merely friends. A task which proved to be even more difficult than just allowing himself to believe that’s what it was. Something that had become very clear when Remus had needed to borrow a pen a week ago. That was solid friend territory, but as he was sliding his notebook into his bag at the end of class Sirius caught the golden glint of Remus’ favourite pen. Not that he knew the exact look of that very pen because he had been staring at the way his hand wrapped around it. The long intricate lines of his fingers and he wrote in his distinctive script. Which meant he had decidedly not thought about just what else those fingers would be able to wrap around. Nor the way they would feel as they glided over that particular thing. The more time he spent around the other man, even just sitting next to one another in class had him craving to know just a bit more. 

That morning in class the green eyed mad had rushed in excited about some new band he was obsessed with and told Sirius he just had to listen to it. Usually he’d have sent him the link, but apparently it was too important for him to wait. Something akin to panic washed over Sirius as Remus pulled out a pair of wired headphones. The other man leaned closer, well into intimate space between them to make sure they were able to keep a headphone each. If that wasn’t bad enough, the proximity meant the spiced citrus scent was stronger than normal. He watched the brunet out of the corner of his eye, and found himself smiling at the way he bobbed his head to the beat, green eyes firmly closed. This man would drive him barmy, and he probably had no clue he was doing it.

Finally, it was Friday night and Sirius was doing his best to distract himself from all things Remus Lupin with a sketch he had due in his class the next week. It had been a few hours since he’d gotten a text from Remus, and he wasn’t sure if he was more relieved or disappointed. 

“OI, GET YOUR ARSES’ IN HERE!” James called, making him jump a mile. A frustrated sigh left his lips as he looked at the stray line across his sketch he’d made in his panic. Rolling his eyes, he threw open his door, seeing Peter peek out from his own. 

“What do you want, and why the fuck did you have to yell halfway across the flat about it?” The stout man asked, voice thick with sleep. Clearly he’d been down for his afternoon nap when their roommate had busted in. 

“Sorry, Tails, but this was of utmost importance I assure you.” The messy haired man paused for affect. “We gentlemen, have a party to attend. It’s some Freshman pre-Halloween shite, but there’s bound to be free booze, so who are we to decline?” He shrugged, a wicked smile on his face. 

Sirius had to admit, a drunken night he didn’t have to spend focusing on maybe feelings that most definitely could end in disaster might be nice. The other man hadn’t seemed much for partying, and these things often turned out to be massive. Even if he was to turn up, it wasn’t very likely he’d run into him at any point. 

“It would be extremely discourteous of us, Prongsy.” He replied, a smirk of his own on his face. 

“Excellent! What about you, Tails?” James asked, bouncing on his toes in excitement. 

“Will there be snacks?” 

“From what I understand, well catered ones.” He nodded with a solemn expression. 

“Count me in.” Peter replied, stretching before making his way back into his room. The other men had no doubt he was finding a clean change of clothes for later that night. 

“I’d love to stay and chat, Pads, but I’m going to need a shower before I’m surrounded by a bunch of sweaty people.” The man said making his way down the hall, closing the bathroom door with a soft click. 

“Prat.” Sirius laughed returning to his own room. To be frank, he wasn’t positive what clean clothing he had either. Usually he’d do laundry on Saturday mornings, but that was of no help for tonight. Prongs had been correct in the assumption that they’d spend the night surrounded by sweaty bodies. 

Despite that Sirius was often more particular than his flatmates when it came to his aesthetic. Sirius was self aware enough to know that he had the need to always look his best. Not the definition of best that his parents or brother might have, but perfectly the persona he had carefully crafted as Sirius Orion Black. Whether he admitted it or not the fixation with his appearance was a habit drilled into him from birth. It was something he was sure his parents would have been proud of if only he wore attire akin to his dear brother. 

Biting his lip in thought he began to scan his open wardrobe. His go to was a t-shirt and denims, but that didn’t seem good enough for a party. It didn’t matter that he was sure to know next to no one. His standards never slipped. Digging through different fabrics and styles his fingers brushed against a cotton so soft it could have been mistaken for cashmere. Pulling the hanger out, he smiled at the light grey v-neck. It was something he’d bought on a whim because of the vinyl black dog embossed on the front. He was named after the dog star afterall and the material was so tight on him it was almost obscene. 

Tossing the shirt on his bed he moved on to his trousers. Despite the heat he was sure to experience with packed bodies and alcohol flooding his system he refused to wear shorts. Ever. Smirking he found the pair of tight fitting slacks he’d taken the liberty of altering. A pair of scissors and a little creativity had turned them into stylishly frayed bottoms perfect for the occasion. 

Sliding the outfit on he grabbed a pair of his black on black hightop converse to complete the outfit. It was rare he ever went anywhere without his trusty leather jacket, but tonight called for it. Instead, he grabbed his black leather choker with a silver star hanging from the front like a dog tag. Once it was fastened around his neck he made his way toward the bathroom, busting in on his best friend to start his complicated personal and hair care routine. Smirking he added a bit of black eyeliner and made his way to the kitchen. Seeing he was the first out he grabbed a snack and water bottle and waited. 

The party was in full swing once they made it across campus. The bass was absurdly loud, echoing off the surrounding buildings. By the time they made it to the refreshments table he could feel it vibrating in his chest. James poured the trio two shots of Tequila each. The men quickly downed them before grabbing cups of spiked punch. He swayed to the music as the alcohol began to flow through his system. It was nice to feel like he could let loose.

“Fancy seeing you three here.” An all too familiar voice sounded behind them. Whipping his head around he locked onto Regulus walking toward them. If his brother was here there was a miniscule chance his new best friend wasn’t. He hadn’t had time to take so much as a breath before he saw him. The very man he was trying not to think about tonight was coming towards them with a bashful smile on his face.

“Ahh, Baby Black. What are the chances you’d find us?” James said, handing a cup of punch to both Regulus and Remus. 

“What are the chances indeed.” Sirius grumbled, taking a healthy swallow of his drink. The hazel eyed man either didn’t care or pretended he hadn’t heard him. 

“You two need to catch up I’m afraid.” Said traitor replied, pouring the first years two shots of their own. 

They had barely swallowed the second glass of liquid before James and Regulus disappeared. It was odd to say the least, but before he had the chance to think about it further, a light tap on his shoulder pulled him away. 

“Hey.” Remus nearly yelled to be heard over the music. His cheeks were already slightly flushed. Sirius suppressed a smile at the likelihood that the brunet seemed to be such a lightweight. He hadn’t really thought about it that first night at the pub, but they’d been sitting most of the time. 

“Hello.” Sirius tipped his head in greeting, only just keeping himself from checking out the other man. Remus on the other hand seemed to have no such problem, running his eyes slowly down his form and back up. The part of his mind that he kept behind lock and key around this man wondered if he liked what he saw. 

“So, from what your brother has said, you seem to be the expert on these kinds of things.” The man had leaned closer so he could be heard without straining his voice. Despite himself, Sirius found himself not minding in the least. 

“For once, I can say my brother is correct.” He laughed, turning his head and finding their faces exceedingly too close. The alcohol was making it difficult to reign himself in. Especially when he noticed the adorable blush that had spread like wildfire across the man’s cheeks from the liquor. “Are you looking for some pointers?” 

“And what if I was?” Remus asked, biting his lip to make him much more alluring than he could ever know. 

Taking a deep breath Sirius set down his mostly full cup. Christ. He really hoped he wouldn’t come to regret this. The alcohol in his system told the more sensible voice in his head to fuck off as he responded.

“Then I’d say you should follow me.” He gave a challenging smile as he slowly stepped backwards. In a rush Remus gulped down the rest of his drink and followed his teacher of sorts into the crowd of bodies. 


	6. To be Drunk and in Love

Sirius wasn’t certain how much time had passed since they’d disappeared into the throng of people. The brunet had grabbed onto his hand as he’d pushed through the crowd, making sure they were never split apart. His heart seemed to beat faster in his chest as the alcohol flooded through them both. 

All those parties at Hogwarts had been good for one thing. His alcohol tolerance was much higher than his companion’s seemed to be. While he had a slight buzz, Remus appeared to be one shot away from pissed. For lack of a better word he was adorable. His head bobbed to the beat the same way it had in class that morning, and Sirius didn’t bother to hide his grin. 

Sirius had a decent amount of rhythm, his parents had forced him into formal ballroom classes as a child. While he may have been shorter than the other boys he was more graceful in his movements. It was clear mere seconds into their interaction that Remus wasn’t so fortunate. 

Finding a small pocket of the yard with less people he tried to show him some simple moves that could work with almost any tempo. It was extremely difficult to keep from laughing as he watched the slightly twitchy motion the other man made instead. Without thinking he placed both his hands firmly on Remus’ hips. His original intention had simply been to help him feel the beat. It was something his dance instructor had done with him. Of course, Madame Patricia hadn’t been fit as fuck. The quiet gasp that left Remus’ lips had him trying to pull his hands back.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t…” he began. The other man’s hands came down over his own, keeping them on his hips. 

“Don’t be.” He bit his lip, and the long haired man’s grip tightened fractionally as he took half a step closer. “What were you going to show me?” Remus cocked his head to the side, tapping his fingers against the other man’s hands to the beat. He felt his lips part as he took a steading breath.

It was ridiculous the way his vocabulary broke down around this other man. “It’s like this.” He began to sway his own hips in time, pulling the green eyed man along with him. After a few beats the men were dancing together, smiling and laughing as they did so. 

Remus’ face was bright red, from the alcohol or physical exertion Sirius couldn’t be sure. A wide smile was plastered across the older man’s face as he watched him gain confidence, spinning in circles, and at one point putting his own hands on Sirius’ hips. If the other man noticed the slowly shrinking space between them, he didn’t say a word. Just as he had begun to wonder if it was intentional on his part, his best friends and brother came into view. 

Looking around, he noticed that much of the grassy space was missing the dozens of people that had been there what felt like moments ago. All three of the other men had the glassy eyed look that signaled the no doubt half a dozen extra shots they’d taken since he’d last saw them. It appeared he was somehow the only partly sober bloke out of the five.

“I think it’s about time we took these firsties to bed.” James more slurred than said. 

“No, we’ve only just started.” Regulus said in his signature drunk whine. His friend leaned over and whispered something to the other man that had his lips sealed soon after. “Fine, come on Remus.” The man stumbled over to try and wrap an arm around Remus. It took two steps before Sirius had to swoop in and righten the brunet himself. 

“Actually, I think I better help you two get back.” He shook his head. Being the mostly sober one was utter shite sometimes. As long as neither man threw up, he’d consider it a win. 

“Fine, but Tails and I are taking a taxi to go get a kebab. I’m bloody starving.” The messy haired man said, earning a victory yell from their friend. “Meet you back at the flat.” He called over his shoulder as he began scrolling through his mobile for the taxi service. 

“Alright, then.” He sighed, walking slowly with the two men toward their dorm. 

“God, he’s fit.” Remus suddenly said, trying and failing to lean toward Regulus as if it were some secret meant for them alone. The other man near giggled in his drunken state. 

“Which one?” He replied, looking over his shoulder as Sirius’ friends. 

“Not them.” the brunet man scoffed as if offended. “The long haired one.” He sighed happily, seemingly unaware or uncaring that Sirius was not only present, but had one hand around his waist. 

“Ugh, that’s fucking minging.” Regulus replied, scrunching his nose up. “Besides, there’s this other bloke who…”

“Alright, gentlemen. I think that’s about enough for tonight.” Sirius abruptly cut his brother off as they neared the top of the stairs. The octave of the other man’s voice had dropped considerably, and he decidedly had no wish to know just what and who his brother was doing in his free time. 

Carefully navigating the stairs he waited for Regulus to get through the threshold of his bedroom. With an unceremonious slam of his door, Remus and Sirius were left alone in the suddenly too small corridor. 

“Do you have your room key?” Sirius asked, somewhat worried that the man had managed to lose it in all his drunken dancing. Nodding he patted down his right pocket. His hand missed twice, running up Sirius’ thigh in a decidedly not just friendly way. 

“Ah ha!” He nearly yelled in the hallway, brandishing the key before dropping it into Sirius’ outstretched hand. 

Carefully balancing his weight, he slid the key into the door and twisted the handle. Pushing the door as wide as he possibly could, he led the way into the dark room. The large window reflected moonlight into the space. It was just enough for him to make out the bed against the wall. Leading him gingerly toward the mattress, he let Remus slip down unto it. 

He immediately slumped back onto the duvet, smiling up at Sirius. It was clear Sirius should leave, but he also needed to know that he would be alright in the morning. Searching around the room he found a tea mug and walked toward the room’s sink. Filling the glass he set it far enough away that he would be able to reach it in the morning without tipping it over in his sleep. Turning on the beside lap he grabbed the bottle of paracetamol off an overhead shelf. Setting two pills near the water he returned the bottle to its designated place. 

Looking over at the still fully clothed man on the bed he sighed. He should at least get his shoes off. It was something he had done for both Prongs and Wormtail countless times, so he was sure it passed the just friends test. With a grin he slipped off the dark grey vans and set them beside the bed. 

Deciding that he’d risked blowing past just friend status more than enough, he stood to leave. Before he could take more than a few steps a hand wrapped around his wrist pulling him back to the bed. Snapping his head toward the man he gasped quietly. Before he could process just what in the fuck was going on, his lips were pressed hard against Remus’. It was a bit sloppy, but not decidedly unpleasant. The brunet’s tongue ran over his lips teasing them open. It wasn’t until he tasted the tang of alcohol on his tongue that Sirius pulled back. 

The other man’s eyes still had a hazy gleam to them. He was swaying slightly as he looked up at Sirius, and the grey eyed man felt as if he might vomit. Standing he took two steps away from the bed, well out of the other man’s reach.

“I… I have to go. Goodnight, Remus.” Before he could hear the other man’s reply he rushed out of the room. The louder than intended click of the door behind him made him wince. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck. Whether he said it out loud or not, Sirius wasn’t sure. He took the stairs two at a time until he was finally outside. Taking lungfuls of fresh air he vaguely realized that this could be what a panic attack might feel like. 

He had been so careful. Not touching the other man had been a hard line, and he’d stuck to it, mostly. It was his main reason for staying decently sober, well that and the fact that he didn’t want to leave Remus’ side for something as stupid as a drink. It was hard enough to tamp down his feelings without losing his inhibition. Clearly, Remus hadn’t had that worry. He’d been more then willing to touch and be touched by Sirius all night long.

He had also been drunk, you utter ponce, his inner voice chimed in rather unhelpfully. He’d been known to do some very questionable things while drunk, so who was he to say that Remus wasn’t as well.

But he kissed _you,_ not the other way around. The little devil on his shoulder goaded. Remus had kissed him. That had to mean something didn’t it?


	7. I Guess it Shows

Sirius felt as if he might vomit. Unlike his roommates, it wasn’t from far too much alcohol. No, it was the undeniable pit in his stomach that had been there since he’d all but sprinted back to the security of his room. He had been back well before either of the other two men and locked himself away. It had been much too early in the morning by the time he finally drifted off. 

Fortunately he was certain that Remus wouldn’t be up too early himself after the night he’d had. It took a Herculean amount of self control to keep from checking his mobile every two minutes. He’d had no more than five hours of sleep before he gave up and began gathering his clothes. Being wealthy came with quite a few perks, one such being the washer and dryer in their flat. It had been a pain in the arse having to watch over their laundry the year before, and he’d insisted on this particular amenity when searching for a place. 

Dumping the clothes in he did his best to keep from slamming the lid. The last thing he needed was James waking up and wondering just what the fuck he thought he was doing making so much noise at eight a.m. He needed something to distract him from it all. An ominous growl came from his stomach prompting him to move into the kitchen. 

He had scarcely poured his bowl of Cocoa Pops before the distinct crunch of crisps came from the couch. Peeking around the corner he found Peter, a bag of smokey bacon Walker’s balanced in his lap. 

“What are you doing up this early.” Sirius found himself asking with one eyebrow raised. 

“I could ask you the same thing.” He mumbled through a mouthful of crisps. 

“Touché.” The grey eyed man nodded his head, grabbing a spoon and sitting on the opposite couch. He stared out the window to his left, taking small bites. Seemingly fed up with his silence the other man cleared his throat. 

“Alright then, out with it.” He motioned. Sirius did his best to respond with a clueless expression. Unfortunately James was much better at it than he was. “You haven’t said so much as a word in nearly ten minutes. Clearly something is bothering you, Pads, and unlike Prongs I refuse to let you just stew in it.” 

Was he ready to talk about this yet? Honestly he hadn’t figured it out for himself, and it’d been more than a month since he’d met Remus. Feelings, true sensitive feelings were something all three boys struggled with. It had been one of their bonding points when they’d first met. None of them pried, but they’d been friends long enough to know when it was time to intervene. 

“It’s Remus.” Sirius finally sighed. Setting the bowl on the table he ran one hand through his hair. It was his worst tell, and Peter knew it. 

“Well yeah, clearly mate.” He dismissed his friend with a laugh. 

“What do you mean clearly? I haven’t said a word to anyone.” Sirius had reared back in shock. His grey eyes were wide, and he was frantically searching his mind for some slip up that had given him away. 

“You didn’t need to, Padfoot.” Sirius’ brow furrowed as his friend continued. “Maybe you have Baby Black and Remus himself fooled, but Prongs and I have been going barmy watching you.” 

“But, but you couldn’t possibly.” He shook his head. How on earth could they have seen through him so easily. More so, they’d watched him in near despair for weeks and hadn’t said a word to him about it. Not that he’d wanted them to mind, but it was the principle of the thing frankly. 

“What I can’t figure out is what’s holding you back?” Peter sat the half empty bag on the table, licking the flavoring off his fingers before continuing. “It’s not like you’re some blushing virgin, Pads, and after last night he certainly looked interested.” Last night. He’d almost forgotten. A groan left him as the kiss came rushing back and all the complicated feelings along with it. 

“That doesn’t prove anything.” He was quick to respond. “Remus was drunk. Alcohol makes you do stupid things. I kissed Prongs in year twelve while drunk for fucks sake.” Shaking his head he continued ranting more to himself than Peter. He always processed things better out loud, but that would have also meant admitting to himself that he wanted to be more than friends. “That kiss meant nothing, so why should him kissing me last night mean anything. It wouldn’t, shouldn’t. I mean he hasn’t even said anything about it so.”

“PADFOOT!” The other man’s voice pulled him out of the rant. “Thank god.” He said, sighing. “Let’s take it back a bit alright?” Sirius gave a cautious nod. “What exactly happened last night?” 

“Well, I walked them back to their room like I’d said I would. Reg went into his room and I had to basically carry Remus through his door.” A small smile slid onto his face at the thought of the intoxicated man. “I got him some water and paracetamol, for in the morning and all. I was just taking his shoes off. That was all and then…” 

“And then what?” Peter replied, leaning forward. 

“I went to leave and he just pulled me down.” He gave a mildly panicked look to his friend. 

“You’ll have to be more specific than that, Pads.” 

“He kissed me, okay? He fucking kissed me.” Sirius stood up and spread his arms wide before pacing through the room. 

“Was it bad?” The other man asked, cocking his head to the side. 

“No.” Even he knew his answer was too fast to be considered casual. “I mean. No, it was, God it was a bit sloppy sure, but it just. It felt right okay?” He stopped in place taking a deep breath. 

“I’m not seeing a problem here. The bloke you like, who clearly likes you, kissed you and it was good, even though he was off his arse.” Peter shrugged. “Sounds like a win to me.” 

“But that’s the point isn’t it?” The longer haired man whined. “He was drunk, Tails. It felt so amazing and then he tasted like Prongs’ attempt at margaritas for my Birthday last year and it was as if reality slapped me in the fucking face.” Sirius walked back to his seat and collapsed onto it. “I’ve been trying so bloody hard to keep from feeling anything for him and then he looks at me like he has no clue what it does to me. You should have seen him dancing, it was, God I don’t even know.” He scoffed. “Then he kisses me, and it just felt right, you know? But then I remember that he did all of that while pissed. What if he doesn’t even remember it, Tails? What in the hell am I supposed to do with that, with this stupid urge to take him on dates and listen to his favourite songs for hours just to see his face light up as if nothing else in the world matters.” 

“Sounds like you’ve got it bad mate.” The other boys jumped as James’ voice sounded from the hallway. “Who’d have thought, our very own Padfoot all moony eyed.” His signature smirk was on his face as he entered the room. Sitting next to Peter he locked eyes with Sirius. 

“I’m not…” The grey eyed man began to protest.

“You well and truly are. Don’t be a prat, Pads.” He smiled in the comforting way he reserved for his friends. “If you feel that way why don’t you just ask Remus out?” 

“Because he’s my brother’s best friend, and I’ve only just met him, and I don’t even know if he bloody well likes men.” All the fears and doubts that had piled up since he’d met Remus began flowing out. “I’m older, and quite frankly a pain in the arse. My mouth gets me into more trouble than I am worth, and I’ve never been in a relationship, and he’s just so fucking perfect.” The last few words weren’t much more than a whine of desperation.

“First of all, it doesn’t matter what Baby Black does or does not think.” The messy haired man started. “You are a catch Padfoot, just let yourself believe that. You deserve to be happy, and you’ll never know if you could be with him if you don’t take a shot.” 

“But…” He started.

“Hush up, I’m talking now. Just meeting someone is exactly why you should go on a date with him. That’s how you get to know them.” The man’s tone was one you’d use when explaining something to a child. “Lastly, I know for a fact that man’s gay.” 

“There’s no way you could just…” 

“When you aren’t staring at him he’s staring at you.” Peter chimed in rolling his eyes. “It would be adorable if it wasn’t so nauseating.” 

“Couldn’t have said it better myself, Wormtail.” Their friend nodded approvingly. “Now will you put us all out of our misery and ask him out?” 

The thought alone made Sirius’ palms sweaty. Before now it had been so easy for him. He knew how he looked, and it wasn’t as if men and women hadn’t asked him on dates. While the women were disappointed they batted for the same team, it had been so simple with blokes. He’d never had to be the one to ask anyone else. They always approached him, sometimes with nothing more than a look from him. 

He was nearly twenty years old and while he had a “reputaion” among his friends and the few gay clubs he frequented, he wasn’t near as suave as they all made him seem. In total he’d been on less than twelve dates in his entire life. Most of them ended before anything ever happened, and the few that didn’t had been disappointing to say the least. None of them had begun to make Sirius feel this way, and that scared him more than anything. 

“I don’t know.” He looked at his hands folded in his lap. “What if.” 

“You can’t spend your life in what ifs, Pads.” James cut him off. 

“You know what Sarte would say about this?” Peter said, ever the philosophy major. 

“No, what would Sarte say, Tails.” Perhaps the man had one of his random bits of sage advice to give. 

“I don’t know.” Peter shrugged? “Haven’t a clue to be honest. I was hoping you did. I’ve got an exam on Monday.” All three men laughed, draining the stress from the room. 

“Alright, enough of all that. I’m ravenous. Let’s go get some brekkie.” James slapped his thighs and stood. Shaking his head at his friend’s antics Sirius walked to his bedroom to get dressed. Thoughts of handsome brunet men would have to wait till he’d had a cuppa and full english. 


	8. Smitten's a Bad Look on Me

He’d gotten a total of ten texts from Remus all weekend. Granted the other man hadn’t woken up until the midafternoon. 

**Remus:** _Hey, just wanted to say I really enjoyed last night and thanks for getting me upstairs and everything._

The words gave him pause. What part of it did he enjoy? Did he remember walking up to his room? Reg could have told him, which would be completely plausible. If he did remember he’d surely say something, right? You don’t just kiss someone in your room and then not mention it later. If that was true how in the hell was he supposed to deal with it? 

**Sirius:** _Oh, it was no problem. What friends do and all that_

He heard James and Peter in the back of his mind, scolding him for such a response. Gritting his teeth he pressed send and anxiously awaited Remus’ reply. If he corrected him then he’d know. If not, well he’d slowly begin decaying on the inside like the coward he was. The bubbles indicating Remus’ was typing were more ominous than the boys toilets in Gryffindor dorms. 

**Remus:** _Yeah lol_

That was all the reply he’d gotten. Yeah. What the fuck was he supposed to take from that? Did he agree that they were just friends, or that it was something that friends would do? The rest of the weekend the other man had been radio silent. It wasn’t entirely his fault. Sirius had never replied. What did one reply to “yeah lol”? No, if he was going to try and talk about anything that happened Friday night and what Remus may or may not remember or feel about it would be better handled in person. 

His conviction to that plan seemed nigh on genius, until he sat in his lecture on Monday morning waiting for the charming man to walk in. Usually they’d have a good ten minutes or more to speak, but as each minute ticked by on his mobile his terror built tenfold. If he was avoiding him Sirius wasn’t certain what exactly he was going to do. 

A mere minute before class was set to begin, Remus slid into his seat. His cheeks were flushed, breaths quick as if he’d run to the classroom. The buttons on his cardigan were one off, and his hair was ever so slightly out of place. Just as Sirius had raised his hand to sort it, Professor Riddle entered with his signature flair. 

What the lecture had been about Sirius hadn’t a clue. Instead he spent the time trying to examine the other man’s body language. More importantly trying to be subtle about it. Unsurprisingly subtlety wasn’t one of his stronger talents. He’d been the kind of man to go for what he wanted, well more accurately to have it fall in his lap with a coy glance so to speak. Perhaps that was one of the many things that had drawn him to Remus in the first place. He hadn’t simply fallen at his feet in admiration. He’d spoken to him as if he was anyone else.

The joint groans of despair from the class distracted him from his observation. Whatever he’d missed seemed to be important to his classmates. He’d have to hope it was on the syllabus. Although, he wasn’t exactly sure where that had gotten to. 

“Sirius.” Remus asked, eyebrow raised at him. 

“Sorry?” He shook his head, noticing the rest of the lecture hall was mostly empty. 

“Are you alright? You look a bit out of sorts.” His head cocked as he stood, bag slung over his shoulder. 

Sirius scrambled for an answer as he packed his own things. “Fine, just a bit tired I think. You know how lectures are.” He tried to laugh light heartedly, but it came out borderline panicked. 

“Unfortunately I do.” Remus nodded, switching from one foot to the other. “Um, I was wondering if you’d want to be my partner.” The long haired man gave a shocked look trying to search for a response. “Study partner I mean, you know, for the exam on Friday. I’m struggling with the different techniques and you said last week you weren’t sure what time periods some of the paintings were so I thought.” 

“Oh, of course.” He nodded. That made much more sense. Considering they were in the same class and had literally been discussing it for weeks. “When do you, um, well when would you want to, or where I guess?” 

“I’ll text you to work it all out? My prof is gonna murder me if I’m late to Classics again.” The brunet had a strained expression as he looked down the corridor. “Text, later.” He repeated before hurrying off. 

“Later.” Sirius said to the nearly empty corridor.

He was borderline obsessive checking his mobile until Remus assumedly got out of his last class. 

**Remus:** _Hey, there. Hope you haven’t changed your mind on studying._

The text sounded almost as uncomfortable as Sirius had felt waiting for it. 

**Sirius:** _You’ll be happy to know that I would be screwed without your history prowess. I was beginning to think maybe you’d changed your mind._

**Remus:** _Never._

He was decidedly glad neither of his friends could see the stupid smile that spread across his face. James had already taken to calling Remus, “Moony” over the rest of the weekend. 

**Remus:** _I’m free after six most nights, but Wednesday or Thursday would be best._

**Sirius:** _Wednesday sounds great!_ He waited for a moment analyzing whether he sounded too eager. Clearing the line he tried again. _Wednesday could work for me._ Perfect. 

**Remus:** _I get distracted by too much noise, so the library isn’t really great studying wise for me._

**Sirius:** _Well I’m sad to say my flat wouldn’t be great for you either. Prongs and Wormtail sound like a herd of elephants on the best day_ **.**

**Remus:** _Bonus of having a private room I guess._

Was he saying what he thought he was saying? Another text appeared on his screen.

**Remus:** _Would it be alright if we met in my room? I’ve got biscuits and I make a fabulous cuppa._

Despite himself Sirius found himself grinning as he responded. 

**Sirius:** _Are there chocolate digestives? I’d even settle for some shortbread._

**Remus:** _Would a Family Circle suffice??_

Laughing to himself he forgot all about his worries, and what exactly had happened in that room mere days ago. Right now, he was just making conversation with a very intelligent and attractive man. No, with Remus. 

**Sirius:** _I think I could make do, but be prepared. I have zero self control when it comes to biscuits._

**Remus:** _I’m sure I can handle you. I’ve got to revise for my exam tomorrow. I swear these professors are trying to kill me._

**Sirius:** _Well attempt to stay alive until Wednesday at least. I’m shite at revising on my own._

**Remus:** _I’ll do my best, but only because you asked so nicely. If I die I’ll leave you my biscuits to console you._

Laughing Sirius typed one last message. 

**Sirius:** _T_ _hat seems like a good deal, but I’d much prefer you, so don’t go getting any ideas. Now stop letting me distract you! I have a horrible habit of that, didn’t anyone tell you?_

**Remus:** _I’m afraid I wasn’t warned. But I guess I’ll listen to you just this once. I’ll see you Wednesday._

Setting his mobile on his nightstand he couldn’t help but beam at the ceiling above him. He still wasn’t positive that Remus was flirting with him. It wasn’t as if he’d seen the text messages he sent to other people, which were decidedly less flirtatious, and they hadn’t discussed the kiss. Despite it all, he felt something akin to hope in his stomach. Fuck, this man would be the death of him, one way or another. For the first time since he’d met Remus Lupin, he couldn’t find it in him to suppress the smile he felt about any of it. 


	9. There's Gotta be Some Butterflies

“How does architecture even count as art?” Sirius sighed, tapping his pen against his textbook in annoyance. 

“Well from what I understand in the…” The brunet started but was cut off by the other man. 

“It was a rhetorical question, but I must say I appreciate your ability to keep your mind in revision state.” He appreciated quite a few things about the other man actually. None of which he’d had the bollocks to actually say to the man. Yet.  
  
“What else might I be thinking about?” Remus bit his lip, green eyes staring curiously into the other man’s grey. 

“Oh, I don’t know.” He attempted to backtrack. “It was a hypothetical and…” The words died in his throat as he looked down at Remus’ lips. He swiped his tongue over his own, finding them exceedingly dry. 

“I have a question.” Remus interrupted him 

“I’m not sure I’ll be much help but…” He was leaning closer to the long haired boy and despite the urge Sirius had to close the space between them, he turned his head away and pretended to focus on his notes. 

“Are you gay? I mean, are you attracted to men?” Remus asked. Sirius’s head whipped around to stare at the other man. The other man’s green eyes were wide, as if even he couldn’t quite believe he’d asked the question. 

“Yeah, I mean, yes I’m gay.” He nodded, blushing at his poor delivery of the statement. 

“So, is it just me then?” Remus’ eyebrows furrowed as if in thought. A tiny crease formed between them, and Sirius had the sudden urge to let his fingers smooth it away.

“What’s just you then?” He asked distractedly. How things had gotten so off track he didn’t know. 

“That you’re not interested in.” The brunet winced and then bit his lip. “I mean, am I just not your type?” 

“Why on earth would you think that?” Sirius said in a rush, furrowing his brow.

“Because I practically threw myself at you Friday night. I made a fool of myself trying to dance just to get your attention.” The other man attempted to speak, but closed his mouth as his companion continued. “Then we got back to my room and I kissed you like some lovesick fool. Then, just when I thought you might be feeling something too you pulled away and ran for the hills.” 

“You misunderstand.” He said, trying to find the words to explain. “That wasn’t my intention at all. I was just…” The other man cut him off, which may have been for the best, considering he was still reeling from his earlier statement. 

“I waited for your message for hours the next day. I couldn’t take not knowing so I messaged you, hoping you’d let me down gently at the very least. Instead I got some close friend text.” Remus’ cheeks were flushed as he ranted. “I was so embarrassed I couldn’t text you all bloody weekend. God, I stayed up all night Sunday just hoping you’d send me just one message. So of course I overslept my fucking alarm and showed up to class looking like a bloody idiot.” 

“You didn’t look like an idiot.” The other man chimed in hoping he could explain himself now. 

“But you spent the whole class just staring at me out of the corner of your eye, so I thought “Maybe he’s just old fashioned and wanted to say it in person.”. Except that you didn’t, so I had to come up with some counter plan. I invited you over, into my very private room, sent suggestive texts and yet we’ve spent the last thirty minutes doing absolutely nothing but revision.” 

“Remus, please.” Sirius tried, putting his hand on the other man’s forearm. “I can explain, all of it. If you’ll let me.” He cocked his head in question. 

“I suppose it couldn’t hurt.” Remus bit his lip with a sheepish expression. 

“First of all, I am more than interested in you and have been, embarrassingly enough, since we met.” The confusion on the other man’s face would have been funny if he wasn’t so nervous about what he was about to admit. “I had an amazing time Friday night, but you were, fuck, you were pissed. Despite what other people, including my brother, may think I don’t go around kissing or taking advantage of drunk blokes. So while I very much did enjoy the kiss, I couldn’t let you continue doing something you may otherwise not have while sober.” 

“Well, that’s actually rather sweet, but it doesn’t...” Remus cut in. 

“Doesn’t explain why I didn’t message about it, yes I know.” He felt his cheeks heat as he looked the other man in the eye. “I wasn’t sure how to react to it, and Christ I’d been trying so hard to keep from fancying my brother’s best mate. But you’ve just made it so impossible.” Sirius laughed and mused his hair as he continued. “When you didn’t say anything about it, I just thought you didn’t remember, or worse you were embarrassed. My very large ego isn’t the best with rejection, as I’m sure you can guess. So…” The pause said everything he couldn’t quite accurately convey yet. 

“So you thought you’d just wait until I spontaneously combusted from the stress of it all?” Remus’ smirk cut through the statement. 

“I’ve been a complete arse haven’t I?” Sirius chuckled, shaking his head at himself. 

“Well, not complete, and I suppose I could accept a bit of the blame. It’s still mostly on you though.” Remus winked. They both laughed forgetting their books in favor of staring at the other. “Perhaps there’s a way you could make up for it.” His green eyes held a mischief Sirius was certain would be the end of him. 

“How’s that, then?” For the first time Sirius let himself lean closer to the brunet, eyes taking in every inch of his face until all he could focus on was the forest in his iris’. 

“Kiss me.” The words weren’t a question or command, but a statement filled with every ounce of want Sirius had been feeling himself. 

It all seemed to happen in some space that defied the laws of physics. Everything moved in slow motion, and yet before he’d even thought to tell his body to move his lips were pressed against Remus’. Unlike the last time both men seemed to take their time with the kiss. Nothing mattered but the soft brush of the brunet’s lips and the way one of his hands wound into Sirius’ hair. His right hand moved to cup his cheek in response. The feel of light stubble against his palm only heightened just how good it felt to finally give in to this, to him. 

When the world started to feel a bit fuzzy around the edges their lips parted. Both of them were blinking back the afternoon sun. An idiotic smile pulled Sirius lips taught as he took in the breathless man across from him. His cheeks were flushed, lips red from his kisses, and emerald eyes a bit dreamy. Sirius had made him look like that, and that knowledge made him feel nearly as good as actually kissing the man had. 

“Was that good enough to earn a pardon?” He said softly, running his hand down the other’s arm. 

“One more condition.” Remus replied, lacing his fingers with the long haired man’s. 

“What would that be?” 

“Go on a date with me Friday night?” He bit his lip, eyes wide. Smirking Sirius used his other hand to gently pull his full bottom lip from between his teeth the way he’d longed to since that first day. 

“I’d love to.” Leaning forward he kissed the other man again. While it was shorter than the previous one they’d shared, it was just as sweet. “As much as I’d prefer to spend the next few hours doing that, I’d be extremely grateful if you could help ensure I don’t start Friday off by bombing an exam.” 

“I think I can manage that.” Remus shook his head and turned back to their notes, trying to find where they’d left off. Despite his earlier words Sirius doubted he’d be able to focus on anything but the man next to him. At least he could give himself credit for trying.`


	10. What You and I Would Feel Like

It was now less than an hour before Sirius was due to meet Remus for their date, and he still had absolutely nothing to wear. Well, more accurately, he had nothing good enough for a first date with Remus Lupin. He had seen him that morning for their exam. Thankfully their study session the afternoon before had been more about actual material than the first. As a matter of fact, Sirius was willing to bet he’d gotten at least ninety percent on his exam. 

He’d gone Manchester United red when Remus had kissed his cheek goodbye before he ran to his class. Which presented a problem Sirius wasn’t sure how to deal with. It wasn’t that he was against PDA. Once he’d all but shagged some bloke in a club with his friends not too far away. No, the action itself was fine, great even, and he’d always considered himself a bit of an exhibitionist. The problem, namely, was that he’d gotten this sensation in his stomach that was utterly absurd unless you were either starring in a movie for preteen girls, or a preteen girl yourself. As such he refused to put a name to it, and stuffed it deep into his psyche where it would hopefully stay put. 

Ever since Wednesday he’d been sure to do any and all laundry he might have. It was all a bit silly he supposed. Remus had seen him dozens of times. Miraculously, he’d liked his appearance each time. Which was saying something since the first time they’d met he’d been a bit sweaty and in his rattier clothing.

He was overthinking this. He knew that, but it did nothing to balm his hysteria. Never in his life had he been this nervous. Not when he’d told his parents he intended to be a Fine Arts Major. Not even when he’d come out. Nothing had prepared him for a first date with the man he was set to meet in roughly thirty seven minutes. 

Perhaps he should just let fate decide. If he waited much longer he wouldn’t have time to do his hair, and that absolutely would not do. Closing his eyes, he pulled the first fabric he came in contact with onto the bed behind him. Without checking he did the same for his trousers. 

Holding his breath he turned around. A black and grey checkered flannel shirt sat on one side, a pair of well worn black denims on the other. It wasn’t overly dressy, but he wasn’t upset with it either. Grabbing his favourite black leather boots he got dressed. 

Somehow he’d managed to keep his date a secret. His friends had encouraged him, but it was too important to jinx at this point. If it went well he’d let them know. Right now he didn’t think he could handle their barrage of questions or loving teasing. Mainly, he was worried that any more added stress and he’d turn into a melted puddle of fabulous hair and leather. 

Making some excuse about spending time in the studio to his friends, he grabbed his jacket. The two men had decided the best place to meet was the college’s courtyard. Sirius’ heart leapt in his chest at the sight of him. Every romance movie cliche ran through his head, and he suddenly understood just how they had become so common. The dark green cardigan wrapped around his shoulders was Sirius’ favourite yet. He knew it would match his eyes perfectly even from this far away. Tamping the urge to sigh he tapped the man on the shoulder. 

“What…” Remus jumped, as he swiveled toward the other man. “Jesus Christ, you scared me half to death.” 

“Only half? Perhaps I’m losing my touch.” He raised one eyebrow. The brunet pushed him playfully in response. “Since you’re still alive for the time being, should we head out?” 

“I suppose.” He said turning, then standing still in front of his companion. Sirius stopped short, nearly running him over. “But I’m watching you.” His green eyes narrowed before he cracked a smile. 

“Duly noted.” Sirius nodded. 

The walk toward the chippie Sirius had planned to take him to was spent talking about their classes, and what their favourite meals were. 

“Why would you ruin a perfectly good steak?” Sirius shook his head in disbelief.

“Just because I don’t want my meat practically still alive doesn’t mean it’s ruined. Even Gordon Ramsey says a perfect cook is medium-rare.” He laughed, shaking his head. 

“I guess I could give you a pass, but I still argue a rack of lamb is far superior.” The longer haired man tipped his chin up in a feigned sense of superiority. 

“As long as there’s mash and roasties, I’ll allow it.” 

“Of course there’s mash and roasties. I’m not an animal!” Sirius exclaimed. Both men chuckled as the stand came into view. It was the most genuine smile Sirius had given in quite some time. They walked up and ordered, Remus laughing when Sirius refused the addition of mushy peas to his meal. 

“It’s an affront to British people everywhere.” He insisted, green eyes shining. 

“Wouldn’t be the first time, and it’s sure not to be the last.” Sirius winked. The other man went for his wallet before Sirius’ hand came to rest on his arm. “Let me get this one.” 

“Fine, but expect a large and absurdly expensive cuppa Monday morning.” Remus replied, brow set. 

“Sounds like a deal.” He grinned. Food in hand, they grabbed a nearby table. 

The area was surprisingly empty for a Friday night. Granted it was only eight and most of the drunk students wouldn’t come stumbling from the bar for at least three hours. Closer to four if he were honest. 

“So, Regulus is barely around the dorm, but I have to admit I’m curious about your relationship.” Remus poured the vinegar over his meal before looking back up. 

“Uh, what do you want to know?” He took the vinegar himself, only adding a quick dash on his fish. 

“Well, I don’t have any siblings, but you two don’t seem very close.” 

“That’s probably because we aren’t.” Sirius said a bit ruefully. “I love him, he’s my little brother, but my family is…” He thought for a moment about the best way to put it. Deciding there was no best way, he was honest. “a bloody trainwreck. My parents aren’t what you’d call affectionate. Loving at all would be a stretch.” 

“That’s horrible.” The brunet shook his head, wiping his mouth with a nearby napkin. 

“I suppose. It’s all I’ve known so after almost twenty years I stop expecting anything else. But Reg, well he’s always been their favourite so to speak.” He looked a bit lost in thought as he continued. “They’re both world class barristers and trained us to be the same. Before we could even walk or talk we were read their cases as bedtime stories. I’d imagine I can still recite statues better than most acting barristers. When it became clear I had no ambition to follow them into law, well it was the straw that broke the camel’s back and such.” 

“But, you’re their son.” The bewildered expression had little effect on Sirius. 

“Eh, I got used to it. By the time they sent me off to Hogwarts I was more than ready. That house is a prison, but Reg wants their approval so badly I think he’d give his right arm to keep them happy.” Sirius sipped his Fanta as the two sat in silence. “But enough about that. What about you? How’d you end up here, specializing in history no less?” 

“Unfortunately, that’s not a completely happy story either.” That did bring Sirius up short. How could such a kind man have a tragic backstory? “Surely you’ve noticed my scars.” He waved his hand at his face. It was clear in the way his eyes studied his remaining chips that it was something that bothered his date deeply. “I was in an accident when I was about four or so. My mum, dad, and I were on holiday in London. It was my first time, and my mother loved the theatre. We were on this rural little short cut, but the road was icy. A people carrier came around the corner and hit us head on.” The man’s voice was quivering slightly. 

“You don’t have to tell me. I didn’t mean to…” Sirius tried. 

“No, it’s fine. It was so long ago.” Remus took a deep breath and continued. “My parents were killed on impact, and by the time they found me in the back seat the cuts were too deep. I’ve had them ever since.” He shrugged. “My grandparents had all passed away, and my parents had no siblings so I was placed into care. I lived with a woman, Bathilda Bagshot. She’d never married and was much too old to have children.” Remus began to smile again. “She was a famous historian, and had published several books on the Tudors, and was known throughout the world as the foremost expert on the subject. As you can guess I found a love of history through her. It began as little facts here and there, but by the time I was a teenager I spent hours researching on my own.” 

“Sounds like you’re quite the swot.” Sirius quipped, earning a smile. 

“I can’t argue with you there. That’s how I got into Oxford actually.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Well, when you’re in care social services pays for your Uni. I applied as a longshot, and got in. I honestly couldn’t believe it when I got my acceptance letter.” He sighed. 

“Seeing you first hand, I’m not surprised at all.” Sirius smirked, narrowing his grey eyes. 

The tension between them built in the quiet. He was ten seconds away from leaning across the table and grabbing the tan polo when a car horn drew them both away. In the distance the drunken whoop of some random drunk bloke echoed. 

“As much as I’d love to stay right here, I have no desire to be mauled by a pack of alcohol fueled individuals.” Remus sighed, shaking his legs out as he rose from the table. The longer haired man mimicked the action throwing away their rubbish in the bin. 

“At least you have a quiet cozy room waiting on you. I’m fairly sure I’ll have two alcohol fueled individuals of my own to deal with.” He replied as they walked. 

“Well, maybe you don’t have to. Not right away I mean.” Biting his lip he locked eyes with the other man. Walking side by side like this Sirius was reminded that although he was older, the brunet had a few inches on him. Which wasn’t great for his ability to think straight. He’d always been attracted to taller men. Remus’ allure that he’d fought so hard the last few weeks had blocked the underlying urges. His comment had them surging to the surface. 

Their steps slowed as he debated how to answer, his teeth lightly tapping on his tongue ring. Sirius had no doubts he wanted Remus. Both physically and emotionally. For fucks sake he was a young man with hormones constantly raging through his body. Up until that point he’d only allowed himself to think about him that when his prick was far too insistent to ignore. But fucking hell did he want the real thing. Still, he needed to be positive what exactly Remus was implying.

“Can you think of somewhere else I might go.” He glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, waiting for some tell. Any sign that would betray his feelings. 

“Like you said, my room is rather cozy, and free of well, anyone else.” Those green eyes he so adored flicked in his direction. “I’d hate for you to have to put up with anything too tiring after all the revision you’ve done this week.” Sirius couldn’t keep one side of his lips from crooking up. 

“How thoughtful of you to think of me.” 

“What can I say? I’m a thoughtful person.” His fingertips skated down Sirius’ arm until their palms were pressed together. The campus came into view ahead and it was apparent he’d have to make a decision soon. Even if he went up with him it didn’t necessarily mean they’d have sex. Just spending more time with Remus alone would be worth it. If they ended up snogging, well no one would find him complaining. 

“I wouldn’t want you to be all alone up there.” Sirius said as they came to the dorm entrance. With a salacious smile of his own Remus pulled him up the stairs and through his door. 

The click of the door was followed by the snap of a lock falling into place. His pulse picked up tempo as the brunet turned around and took in the other man. With a determined step forward he wound his hand in his long hair, much like their first real kiss. Except this kiss was hungry, desperate. It was as if he needed this to live. 

Sirius was goaded into taking slow steps backward until his legs came into contact with what could only be Remus’ bed. Pulling back, the other man pressed gently on his chest until he fell back on it. The rise and fall of their chests created a mesmerizing rhythm. He allowed the other man to push his jacket off his shoulders, tossing it across the room. Remus’ pupils were blown wide as he unbuttoned his cardigan and threw it as well. 

“Are you okay with this?” The brunet asked, moving so he was standing between the older man’s thighs. Sirius gave an enthusiastic nod. Remus stayed where he was. “No, I need a verbal confirmation, handsome.” 

“Please.” He prayed that was enough for the other man. Mostly because it had been months since he’d had anything but a good wank, and his lexicon was feeling a bit scarce when presented with a surprisingly dominant Remus Lupin. 

A wolfish smile spread across the other man’s face as he kissed him once again. His surprisingly deft fingers began to slide the long row of buttons from the holes of the flannel shirt. Soon Sirius’ top half was completely bare to the other man. The brunet’s hands traced up his ribs slowly, causing him to shiver. 

“Do you have any idea just how good you look?” He asked, pulling back from the kiss to examine him. Pushing the shirt back he began tracing the outline of the older man’s tattoo, directly over his left peck. 

“I have been told on occasion.” Sirius had caught his breath and cleared his head enough to speak somewhat clearly. “Doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy hearing it from a man as breathtaking as you.” His tongue traced his teeth. Reaching forward he pulled up on the other man’s shirt. Smirking Remus complied and slid his shirt off. “Fuck.” He hadn’t even gotten this man completely undressed and his mouth was already watering. 

“Something like that.” Remus kissed a line down Sirius’ neck, nipping at his ear. “Do you want to know exactly what I’ve thought about, lying on this very bed?” His voice was dripping with sin. The pitiful groan the longer haired man gave in reply seemed to be enough for him to continue. “Every night, practically since that first in the pub, I’ve been able to think about nothing, and no one, but you.” 

Sirius knew his breathing was picking up, and his trousers were quickly becoming much too tight. The more bookish man he’d come to know the last few weeks was completely gone. In his place was a predator, and Sirius was only too happy to be his prey. 

“Is that right?” His voice was much more level than he had feared it might be. 

“It started out as just quick wanks to the image of you, in my desk chair, watching me.” He began kissing down his neck until he met his shoulder. “Then I remembered how wide eyed you were that first day. Gods and you were on your knees just staring up at me.” A soft growl vibrated against his throat. 

His cock leapt even in its confines, pulling a groan from him. Being teased had never been one of his favourite bedroom activities. Even so, he was positive he’d listen to Remus whisper the dirtiest things to him for the rest of his life. 

“Would you like that, Love? To be on your knees for me?” The low timber of his voice drew an actual whimper from Sirius. Looking back on it, Sirius would compare it to how a dog might whine for a treat. “Go on then.” Remus took a few steps back and nodded to the floor at his feet. 

If Sirius were another man, perhaps he’d have been embarrassed at how quickly obeyed. As it stood, he was more disappointed he hadn’t been there sooner. Looking up into Remus’ face he tentatively traced his fingers over the gentle v of his pelvis. When they met at the patch of deep brown just below his navel, both men took a shaky breath. 

“Go ahead.” Remus’ voice was tight as Sirius flicked open the button on his trousers. The metallic pull of his zipper cut through the room. Careful not to pull his pants along with it, Sirius gave the material a quick tug. 

The puddle of fabric at his feet was forgotten entirely when he looked back up. A dark spot on his light grey pants told Sirius everything he needed to know. He wanted this just as badly as he did. 

Leaning forward he let his lips skim over the band of fabric on his hips. Pressing open mouthed kisses to the spattering of hair above the line of his pants, he glanced up at the other man. A challenging quirk of his lips had Sirius pulling the last of his clothing down his legs.

The hard prick in front of him, was nothing short of perfect. He was well above average, and a bit thicker than most men Sirius had been with before. The challenge of it all only made him want it more. Wrapping his hand around his length, Sirius dragged his tongue in a slow line over the head of his cock. He dipped his tongue into the slit, capturing the bead of pre-cum that gathered there. 

“Fuck.” The word was hissed between the other man’s teeth as he watched. 

His full attention only drove Sirius on. Keeping his grey eyes locked onto the other man’s green, he wrapped his lips around the head and sucked lightly, letting his tongue trace lazy circles. The slightly salty tang that was purely Remus coated his taste buds. The light twitch of the cock in his hand had him taking more into his mouth. 

At first he set an almost lazy tempo, only sinking down an inch or so on his length. Each time he pulled back he ran his tongue over the slit, and pushed back down. The smooth metal of his tongue ring slid along the vein running down the underside of his cock. Quiet moans and panted breaths above him, only goaded him further. Taking a deep breath he slid down until the head of the brunet’s cock nudged at the back of his throat.

“Fucking hell.” Remus moaned, burying his hands into Sirius’ hair. The slight shock of pain when he pulled had him groaning around the other man’s cock. Both sensations seemed to snap the control the brunet had held onto up to that point. 

Sirius let himself be guided slowly over Remus’ length until his nose was buried in the curls at its base. He was held there for a moment before being pulled back so he could get a breath. A quick gasp and then he’d take him down again. Letting the other man have control of him like this was possibly the sexiest thing Sirius had ever experienced. The grip in his hair was firm, and the slight tug was sending shocks directly to his own neglected member. 

“So fucking beautiful sucking my cock, Sirius.” The words were enchanting, but it was the almost gravely tone that had him falling apart at the seams. His muffled moan made the hands in his hair tighten minutely. “You like that, Handsome? You like knowing that you take my cock even better than I fantasized?” A whimper of confirmation was all he could manage. The salacious smile on Remus’ lips gleamed down at him. 

One of Remus’ hands moved to the base of his cock, the other pulled Sirius’ head back until just the tip rested against his lips. 

“Do you want me to fuck your mouth, Love?” The words swirled around in his mind and he did his best to nod in response. “You know that won’t do.” Remus narrowed his eyes slightly and waited. Sirius knew precisely what he wanted, and he was more than willing to give it to him.

“Please, fuck my mouth.” His voice was a bit rough from disuse. The statement earned a muffled groan from the other man. 

“So fucking perfect.” A smile pulled at Sirius’ lips before Remus positioned his cock against them again. This time the hands in his hair held him still. For a split second he only let the head rest heavy against the other man’s tongue. Without warning the brunet pushed his hips into the warm waiting mouth, as deep as he could. He started with a series of slow and hard thrusts. It wasn’t long before it became clear that he was much closer than he’d let on. One, two, three more hard and quick snaps of his hips was all it took before Remus buried himself down Sirius’ throat. A feral grunt fell from his lips as he felt his cock twitch against his tongue. He greedily swallowed the hot waves of cum filling his mouth, doing his best not to waste a single drop. 

The hands in his hair went slack. Sirius felt the last tremor on his tongue, and pulled back. He couldn’t help but smirk at the sight of Remus above him. His chest was taking in heaving breaths, face and neck flushed slightly. A light sheen of sweat twinkled in the moonlight. The man looked utterly debauched, and knowing he was the one to have done it nearly made him forget about his own arousal. 

“Bed.” Remus said, once he’d gotten his breathing under control. Seeing the confusion flash across his face he clarified. “Undress and get on the bed, Sirius. I’d like to return the favor. That is, if you’d like me to?” He looked a bit unassuredly at the still kneeling man. 

A look which changed to laughter when Sirius scrambled to pull his clothing off as rapidly as possible. He sat on the edge of the bed and forced himself to keep from stroking his aching cock. Somehow he didn’t think the other man would be too happy with him stealing the first touch from him. It had been much easier to ignore when he’d been focusing all his attention on pleasing Remus. Now in the cool air of the dorm, his need was almost painful. 

“Lay back.” The soft commanding voice he’d become so used to rang out. He obeyed without question, moving toward the middle of the bed. Remus’ movements were exploratory as he traced down his body. Skating his fingers over the other man’s right nipple and pinching it lightly. Sirius was nearly sure he saw a smile when his prick jumped in response. 

“Please.” Sirius begged when the roaming hands stopped at his waist. This man had him saying that six letter word more in one night that he’d said it in the rest of his life combined. 

With a knowing smile Remus adjusted himself until he was between the grey eyed man’s thighs. He shot him a wink before he wrapped his lips around his throbbing cock. The warm heat of his mouth was almost too much, a feeling which only intensified when he took every inch of Sirius down, swallowing around the head. 

“Oh fuck.” Sirius’ hand flew down to the other man’s hair as he attempted not to cum like some thirteen year old. His exclamation seemed like a challenge to the other man. He knew he was typically the more vocal partner in sex, and Remus seemed determined to get every sound he could from him. One hand moved down and gripped his balls gently as he continued sucking him as if his life depended on it. 

“If you don’t slow down, fuck.” His voice was desperate and he knew it. “I’m not… fuck.” Remus pulled back enough to suck on just the head of his cock, tongue laving every inch it could reach. The hand that had been massaging his balls ran down until one finger was tracing his tight hole. The grasp he had on Remus’ hair tightened as he felt his last string of self control snap. “I can’t… oh fuck.” Closing his eyes tight he felt the tsunami of pleasure crashing over him. Pinpricks of light filled his vision as he tried his best to remember to breathe. His heart thudded in his ears as the mouth wrapped around his cock continued sucking until his hips jumped from over sensitization. 

Eyes still closed he tried to get his breathing under control. A warmth settled behind him, breath ghosting over his throat before a gentle kiss was pressed against it. One of Remus’ arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him closer. His back was pressed against the taller man’s chest, arse against the other man’s hips. Despite the voice in his head telling him he really should get dressed and go back to his flat, he surrendered to the comfort of the brunet’s body heat and fell asleep with a voice in his head telling him he was precisely where he was meant to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for taking the time to read my piece. I'd love to hear your feed back! 
> 
> I'm planning on working on a sequel in the very near future, so I hope you stay tuned for it!
> 
> Thank you<3   
> -Padfoot


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